Happily Ever After
by Joysan
Summary: What if he got back together with his first love
1. Building a career

Disclaimer

There are a lot of McCoy stories with happy endings and even more pairing him with unlikely partners like Nora, Abbie and Mike Logan! This tale seeks to find a happy ending with an unknown soul mate. The characters belong to Dick Wolf, and I am only borrowing them. I used to be a writer, but my skills have deteriorated since I became a nurse and now have to write in short, concise statements. I hope you enjoy my first attempt at fanfiction.

Introduction

Jack McCoy stood wearily in his office staring out the window without really seeing anything. It had been a long couple of months. He had just finished closing arguments in a horrific murder case. The case was in the hands of the jury now. He was tired both physically and mentally. His old assistant Abbie had once asked him after an equally horrific case "How did he wash it off?" He said he'd let her know when he figured it out. He still hadn't. After a few more minutes, he slowly changed clothes and gathered up his keys, helmet and briefcase for the ride home to his quiet and cluttered brownstone apartment. He had bought the apartment shortly after he married Kate in 1970. He had met her during a basketball game between the med school and the law school. They were winning when he got popped in the eye by an elbow. Kate was the one who handed him an ice pack for his swollen eye. He graduated from law school, got hired by the DA's office and married Kate all in short order. Initially, she understood that he needed to devote his time and energy to building his career. She was four years younger, starting her first year of medical school at NYU when they married. Between her studies and his job, they made the most of every free moment.

At first neither of them seemed to notice the months, then years slipping by. Both were driven, hard working people. Jack had graduated from high school at 16, college at 19, driven as much to success as he was to get away from his father. Law school at NYU was pleasant by comparison. His father was hundreds of miles away, and his law classes stimulated and challenged him more than his undergraduate courses ever had. Kate was equally intense. She, too, had completed high school early and then went on to NYU for both her undergraduate degree and to attend medical school. While he was building his career at the DA's office, Kate dove into her internship at St. Vincent's hospital, then completed dual residencies in pediatrics and emergency medicine.

The early years were a blur of late dinners, occasional weekend getaways and passionate lovemaking. The years slipped by rapidly. Their few quiet times together were often interrupted by one or the others' pagers chirping annoyingly and requiring attention. The brightest spot was the birth of their daughter Elizabeth in 1980. Jack delighted in this tiny pink bundle. He had no desire for a son to continue the name or propagate the genes or for whatever reason men want sons. He feared his father's legacy would haunt him with a boy. With his little girl, he didn't need to be any one but daddy. Kate breastfed Elizabeth, but he helped with the night routine; He'd bring the baby to her, change her diaper and then settle her back to sleep after a feeding. Both of them were always tired, but fatigue was their normal. Things got tense between them as Jack moved up the career ladder at the DAs. He often left before 7 a.m. and returned home after the baby was asleep. It was also rare when he didn't have to put in a few hours on the weekends. He usually took Beth with him on Sundays, as much to give Kate a break as to enjoy time with her. He'd catch up on paperwork while she'd play in his office. When he was finished, Jack would take her to lunch. They'd go to the park or zoo if it was a nice day or to a museum if it was wet and cold. Kate got some time alone to catch up on sleep, to read or to shop. Elizabeth was usually tired after a day with her dad and settled into sleep fairly easily after her dinner, a warm bath and a bedtime story. Jack and Kate could enjoy a nice dinner and the chance to simply talk together or make love. Both treasured these evenings. Jack wondered to this day how he blew it. He'd only truly loved two women in his life: Kate who gave up on him and Claire who died on him.

Kate was an emergency room physician at St. Vincent's specializing in pediatric emergencies and trauma. She worked twelve hour shifts four nights a week, taught some classes for healthcare professionals and served on two hospital committees. While she was busy, her schedule was flexible and allowed her to make Elizabeth her first priority. Busy at work, he didn't notice that she seemed irritated with him most of the time. The late nights made it rare for him to be home in time for dinner, much less to see Elizabeth awake. Kate usually left for work before he got home. Even when he was home, he'd have to keep the babysitter available in case he got called to a crime scene. In June 1984, Jack was deep into a long trial involving the organized crime, murder, drugs and money laundering. After long days in court, trial preps went on into the night. Several times, Jack didn't bother going home. He slept on his couch, then shaved and showered at a nearby fitness center. Sometimes, he'd even forget to call home and check on Kate and Elizabeth. When the trial dragged on longer than anyone expected, Jack's vacation was cancelled. Kate was angry and hurt. Coordinating vacation time with two professional careers was difficult, and her vacation time couldn't be changed easily. Kate took Elizabeth and went to the Connecticut beach house anyway. He didn't know at the time that she also interviewed for another job in Connecticut. She waited until the trial was over and the verdict was in before she blew him away with those two little words, "I'm leaving." And she did. Silently packing up her and Elizabeth's things while he stood by numbly and unsure what to do to fix the situation.

Chapter 1

In the quiet of the apartment, Jack sat in the dark for several hours and thought about the direction his life had taken. His two loves had only been gone a few hours, yet it seemed an eternity to him. Fourteen years of marriage…Jack felt sick inside. He missed his little girl…her chatter, her bedtime stories, her baby shampoo smell, her little hand in his. With Kate's night shift responsibilities, he frequently was alone in their bed. Tonight was different, permanent. Jack loved sleeping with Kate. He loved her softness, her warmth, her smell, and he especially loved the little pleased sounds she made when they made love. He couldn't even call them. She hadn't left a number, and he hadn't thought to ask.

By 5 a.m. Jack gave up on any thoughts of sleep and headed into the office. His other cases had piled up during the long trial, and he had a mountain of paperwork to catch up on. He worked through the day and before he knew it the clock was chiming 9 p.m. Jack's head ached from eye strain, fatigue and something else. He drove home to the empty apartment and dumped the mail onto the table. He strode over to the answering machine, hoping for the sound of Kate's voice. The machine chipped, "No new messages" when he pressed the button. Frustrated, he stripped off his clothes, washed down a couple of aspirin with a tumbler half full of scotch and took a long, hot shower. He slipped damp and naked into the unmade bed, pulled the covers over his head and thought, "to hell with her" as he fell into a restless, exhausted sleep.

Kate finally called the following weekend, a brief, business like call. She gave him their new address and telephone number. She told him that she had a new job at Connecticut Children's Medical Center in Hartford. She'd found a nice house in a suburb of Hartford where Elizabeth could walk to school and play outside without the safety concerns inherent in a big city like New York. Jack, she said, was welcome to visit whenever he chose to take a break from the law. She told him that if he wanted a divorce, it was up to him to file. She was Catholic and considered them married for life. 

In the beginning, Jack went to visit them whenever he had a free day. Kate was always civil, but cool to him. She'd made it perfectly clear that unless he was willing to quit the DA's office and move to Connecticut, she wasn't interested in working things out. Jack had made his choice--wisely or poorly--he didn't know, but he'd stayed with the DA's. Elizabeth at five was too young to truly understand why her parents live apart. As Elizabeth became more involved with friends, school and sports, she became less excited with spending the day with her dad, away from her friends. Kate remained cool and aloof, still angry that he chose work over them. As time passed his visits became less frequent, and he let work fill the emptiness.

His first affair started because of his long hours. Fellow ADA Michelle (Shelly) Kates shared a love of the law and worked near him in the Trials Bureau. Shelly made the first move, asking him first to dinner and then back to her place. It wasn't long before they were sleeping together regularly. Jack liked this arrangement a great deal. He was with someone who understood his work hours and priorities because Shelly was in the same situation. No deep emotional attachments were needed by either of them. They were in it purely for friendship and sex. Their parting was amicable when Shelly left the DA's for a private law firm.

Next came Sally Bell. Only Sally wasn't just a co-worker, she was Jack's assistant. The relationship with her was similar to Shelly's, but different too. Jack asked Sally to join him first at dinner and later in his bed. Sally worked for him for two years and slept with him for most of that. Jack wanted, needed to win his cases. He wanted to head Trials Bureau as the Executive Assistant District Attorney (EADA). To reach that goal he drove himself, his assistant, the police and anyone else involved in his cases very hard. Jack did not like to lose. As he often said, "in my family, losing is not an option." Sally worked hard, but in the end, he just plain wore her out. Towards the end, she started becoming distant. Jack wasn't surprised when she bolted for a private firm with better hours, better pay and more respect. They'd face each other across the aisle several times since they split up. Their parting was civil and so were their subsequent meetings.

Diana Hawthorne came next. He was closing in on his quest for the EADA job when she was assigned to him. This time his work took precedence over personal relationships, and Diana actually worked with him for a year before they became lovers. They worked together four years and slept together for three of them. He'd won his promotion during the high profile Andrew Dillard case. Dillard was a white racist accused of murdering young Black boys. The case put him in the public…and Adam Schiff's eye. When they won the case, Jack took Diana on a three week tour of Ireland to celebrate. When they got back, Jack threw himself into the new job with his usual zeal. This doomed the relationship with Diana. She, too, was burning out. Diana seemed distracted at work and distant at home. It was almost a relief to Jack when she bolted for a private practice.

Adam Schiff was a wise old soul who won election as District Attorney multiple times, and he was an excellent judge of character. He knew that his new EADA of Trials was a womanizer and workaholic who sometimes drank too much and had a temper. Adam had heard some of the rumors around the office. But he also knew that it was hard finding experienced, dedicated trial lawyers in the DA's office. Few stayed around long. Once they got experience, many chose the defense table for the higher pay. Jack was bright and dedicated. He didn't play politics. He worked long hours. And he lived to win. Adam liked those traits and hoped to nurture the best and discourage the worst. When Jack's assistant, Bob Crocker, resigned, Jack had requested Claire Kincaid be assigned to him. Adam called Jack into his office and regarded him over a glass of scotch. Adam basically told Jack that he would assign Miss Kincaid to him, if he kept his fly zipped. No problem he told Adam. 

Claire Kincaid. Jack had first noticed her talking to Ben Stone in the hallway outside of Adam's office. Striking dark hair and eyes, shorter than Kate, smelled great when he passed her in the hall. He'd approached Adam as soon as he heard that Ben was leaving the DA's office. He listened to Adam's warning and fully intended to honor it. Claire was as smart as she was beautiful, smarter even than he was, Jack thought. She'd called Jack on his reputation immediately on walking into his office. There were five hundred attorneys in the DA's office and quadruple that in support staff. Rumors went both ways. Jack had heard rumors of Claire's relationship with an older judge with whom she'd clerked. Twenty years his junior, Jack actually had no intention of getting involved with her. He enjoyed the physical release of sex, but hated the emotional entanglement a relationship often meant. They went for a drink the first night and were sleeping together within the month. 

Jack found Claire sexy, funny and smart. She loved to win as much as he did, but had a higher moral code…at least with the law. Jack and Claire worked extremely well together. She wanted to learn every facet of the law and she wanted to try major felons. They disagreed on many aspects of the law, especially the death penalty, but seemed to be able to keep work and play separate. Claire gave Jack a hard time about the sloppiness of his apartment. He hadn't made any changes since he split with Kate, and it showed. They frequently had late dinners together and then went back to his or her place. Claire enjoyed weekend rides to the mountains or seashore on his motorcycle. Claire was becoming an important part of his life. This caused Jack a rare ethical dilemma. He still loved Kate in his own way and was still legally married to her. They'd been split since 1984. Sleeping around was one thing, but falling in love? For the first time since Kate walked out, Jack felt the little twinges that told him he was in love again, but with Claire. For the first time, Jack debated filing the divorce papers. He wasn't sure marriage was what Claire wanted either. Hell, he was pushing 50 and she was not. He avoided the subject completely even as his love for her grew. It was more than sex, though that was outstanding. He was pretty sure her previous lovers were fairly inept, and he enjoyed teaching her the finer aspects of lovemaking.

Claire stood by him during the embarrassment of the Andrew Dillard case. In her desire to win for him, Diana had manipulated some evidence and hidden other evidence to help (wrongly it turned out) convict Dillard. Jack was suspended while Claire investigated. Eventually he was exonerated and reinstated, while Diana was charged for her part. His relationship with Diana, often rumored, became public knowledge. In a sense, it put Jack and Claire on equal footing. Her relationship with Judge Thayer had also become public knowledge and had embarrassed her deeply. She understood his feelings and did not throw it in his face.

Their last few days together were awful. The Mickey Scott execution loomed. Jack had tried him, the jury had convicted him and now the State of New York was going to put him to death. Claire was still in law school when the case was tried. She hated the finality of the death penalty. For the first time, their work disagreements spilled over at home. By now, Jack spent most nights at Claire's. Her apartment was neater than his and she lived closer to the office.

That last terrible day, after they drove back from Attica together, he felt that familiar distancing that he'd felt when Sally and Diana had left. He was so used to burying his emotions that he didn't know what to do. So he hadn't done or said anything. Almost as soon as she'd dropped him off, he realized his mistake and tried to call her. Unable to reach her after multiple attempts, he headed for a bar and got busy getting drunk. He was feeling suitably numb when Detective Briscoe happened to pick the same bar and disrupted his alcoholic memories. Claire finally answered his page and agreed to come get him. Uncomfortable with being so plastered in front of the detective, he left before Claire got there. He still wasn't in too good of shape when he got called about the accident. Claire was pronounced dead at the scene.

When Jack found out she was dead he got on his cycle and just started riding. He'd never ridden it drunk before and he hadn't ridden it drunk since. He had no idea where to go or what to do. He simply started driving. He ended up in Hartford as dawn was breaking in the western sky, half frozen from the cool night spring air. He drove up to Kate's house because he couldn't think of anywhere else to go. No one answered his knock. Elizabeth had probably already left for school, and Kate wasn't home from work yet. Kate found him slumped in a porch chair when she drove up around 9. He was ice cold and slightly incoherent. She could smell the alcohol, but knew it was more than that. She got him inside, helped him strip off his damp clothes, and got him into a warm bath. She made him drink some warm tea and tucked him into her bed under an electric blanket. When he started shivering uncontrollably, Kate crawled in with him caressing him and holding him tight. Neither of them planned what happened next. Jack responded to Kate's caresses by kissing her and stroking her back. Initially Kate tried stop him, but they were both hungry for each other, and she surrender to his gentle touch. They made love like two people starved for each other and then fell asleep still locked in their embrace. Jack awoke first, aching head and body, immediately ashamed when he realized he turned to his estranged wife for comfort when his girlfriend died. He slipped out of bed, found his clothes and got dressed. Kate woke up while he was dressing and watch quietly with tears in her eyes. He knelt down by the bed, kissed her gently and mumbled an apology. He then drove back to the city to deal with his shattered life.

The funeral and the days that followed were a blur. Jack coped as always by burying himself in work. He refused a new assistant, drank harder and worked longer than ever before. Jack looked like he'd aged ten years. Even Adam was concerned. Adam was the father figure that Jack had never had. Adam had tried to rein Jack in when his emotions and temper flared, and he knew Jack hadn't kept his promise about Claire. Adam finally intervened by assigning Jack a new assistant--one he was sure could match Jack's fire, keep his ethics in line and keep his fly zipped. Jamie Ross. Jamie really kept him in line and gave him balance and friendship, a rare platonic friendship. The grueling hours were too much for the single parent, and Jamie left after just two years. Jamie was followed by Abbie. Abbie was too young for his tastes, and she actually challenged him to keep her ethics in line! Abbie was a young Jack, ambitious and determined to win, pushing the envelope even farther than he had. For her the DA's office was a stepping stone to a bigger arena. She left after three years and took a job in the U. S. Attorney's office. Abbie was replaced by his current assistant, Serena Southerlyn. Incredibly book smart, she lack the common sense and intuition he'd come to expect from his assistants…or maybe he was just getting old. 

Between Adam Schiff retirement and Serena, the office was not the port in a storm it had been. Jack caught himself thinking about retirement. He hesitated only because he knew all he really wanted to do was try cases. He couldn't switch to the other side of the table this late in the game. No matter how he looked at it, he just wasn't having fun anymore.


	2. Kate's Story

Kate's story

Kate Shipman was finishing her senior year at NYU when a friend dragged her to a basketball game between the law school and the medical school. She normally spent her free time studying or volunteering at the Free Children's Clinic in Harlem. The med school was losing when a tall, lanky law school student went up for a rebound and came down with an elbow in his eye. Kate popped an ice pack and brought it over to him. After the game, the handsome young man came over and introduced himself to her as Jack, and he asked her if he could take her out for a drink. Kate declined saying that she needed to study, but Jack walked away with her phone number.

Later that night and most of the next day, a huge snow storm swept through blanketing the city with ten inches of snow and forcing the cancellation of classes. Kate's phone rang at noon. The caller was Jack inviting her out to play in the snow. He wouldn't take no for an answer. Kate thought, "He doesn't waste any time." But she bundled up and met him out front. It was hard to resist the pull of all the fresh, white snow, and she kind of liked the lanky young man with a charming grin and a devil may care look in his eyes. Just the kind of guy her dad and brother warned her about. Kate and Jack romped in the snow like ten year olds making snow angels, a snow man and joining in a rollicking snowball fight. Wet and cold, they went to the student union for hot chocolate and sandwiches. Kate told Jack that she was 20, originally from Connecticut, the only daughter of a family practice physician. Her mother died when she was twelve. She adored him and her older brother, Mike, who was finishing medical school in California.

Kate learned that Jack was from Chicago, the son of a cop. He had two younger sisters that he was crazy about. He would turn 24 on June 15th and was gunning for a job with the District Attorney of New York after graduation and the Bar Exam. He'd taken a year off between college and law school to earn some cash for tuition, working days as a paralegal and part of the night loading boxes for UPS. He now worked several nights a week tending bar. It wasn't hard work and gave him plenty of time to study between pouring drinks. Kate didn't learn until later that he chose law school in New York to escape a tense relationship with his father. Jack walked her back to her dorm and they parted with a lingering kiss that left her heart thumping. Kate was very focused on her career goals and rarely dated. Jack changed all that.

Kate and Jack both felt a strong bond and were together frequently. She learned that he had a reputation as a ladies' man and charmer, but she also learned that she was loyal and dedicated to his studies. He was a lapsed Catholic and had more liberal politics. Kate was conservative and still tried to follow the tenants of the Catholic Church.. Kate knew he wanted to sleep with her fairly soon after the first date. The turbulent 60s aside, Kate still hoped for a fairy tale ending. She wasn't a prude, but she didn't believe in casual sex. When she slept with someone, she didn't want to regret it later. Jack was nothing if not persistant. When they would make out in his apartment, he would do his best to arouse her. She could feel his need pressing her through his jeans, but he didn't force the issue. During the spring semester, Jack and Kate managed to do everything but… The but came after final exams. With a week until graduation, Jack and Kate took off to a beach house on the Connecticut shore that belong to Kate's father. They arrived in mid-afternoon and promptly went to the beach to enjoy the warm sand and cold waves, free of the rigors of final exams. At dusk, cold and hungry, they headed into the house for a hot shower. One thing led to another, and they were soon on the bed. Though Kate knew he was very aroused, he still took his time with her, both of them enjoying every taste, touch, smell. He brought her to orgasm first with his hands, then showed her how to stroke him to do the same for him. Later that night they made love again, this time with Jack penetrating her. They made love slowly until he felt her excited rise, then he brought her to orgasm and allowed himself his release too. In later years, Kate would remember the week in their beach house as the best time they ever had. 

The week over, they both headed back for graduation, hers from the College of Sciences, his from Law School. She briefly met his parents and immediately noticed the tension between father and son. She could tell that John McCoy was proud of his son--he'd graduated 3rd in the class. Kate introduced Jack to her father and brother too. She caught her father sizing him up on more than one occasion while they were having dinner. Jack started work at the DA's and began studying for the Bar Exam. Kate visited her father and then began medical school the same day Jack took the Bar Exam. On a stifling day in mid-August, Jack met her after her afternoon classes. He had the slip in his hand showing that he had successfully completed the Bar Exam and was now a practicing attorney in the State of New York. Taped to it was a beautiful gold, diamond and sapphire engagement ring. Kate was sure she loved him, but wasn't sure marriage was a good idea right now. Four years of school, followed by internship and residency. Jack won his argument, saying they were better equipped to handle it as a team. Kate's father tried to talk her into waiting, saying that if Jack was the right man for her, then waiting wouldn't hurt. When he learned that their minds were made up, he gave his blessing. They were married by Kate's parish priest the next Friday on the beach in Connecticut with just a few family members and close friends in attendance. Father Joe initially refused to perform the service since they hadn't taken the required preparatory classes, but Kate bluntly told him that they were already sleeping together, so he'd best make it legal in the eyes of God before they had a child. Father Joe, who had gone through seminary in the 60s, relented and performed the service. 

They bought the rundown brownstone apartment using money they'd received from graduation and wedding gifts as a down payment plus the $10,000 Kate's father gave them. Jack wanted to refuse the money from Kate's father, but the old man wouldn't hear of it. Painting, plastering and refinishing woodwork took many months, but they slowly renovated the brownstone into an inviting living space.

While Kate attended her medical school classes, Jack was paying his dues in the DA's office. After her graduation and a year of internship, Kate had to work for two years in an inner city hospital as payback for her scholarship. She was assigned to the Harlem City Hospital and Free Clinic in a dilapidated and crime ridden neighborhood. After her commitment ended, Kate began a dual residency in pediatrics and emergency medicine that took six years to complete. Elizabeth was born during her residency. Kate interrupted her training long enough to spend three months home with the baby and then volunteered for most weekend and night shifts to allow more time home. Jack helped as much as his hours permitted. When Kate's training was completed after almost ten years, she was hired by St. Vincent's Hospital as an attending physician in the emergency room working three nights per week. For the first time in years, Kate had free time to enjoy. Unfortunately, Jack didn't seem inclined to slow down and enjoy time with his family.

Kate had a habit of leaving a list of errands and chores that needed to be done. Jack would always do what she requested, but it began to irritate her that she needed to ask. She wanted him to help with Elizabeth or around the house without having to be asked. Jack, however, was not a self starter around the home front. Kate was also frustrated that he didn't spend enough time with Elizabeth. She'd asked him numerous times to try to get home at a reasonable hour on the nights she worked so Elizabeth would have a parent to tuck her in. Jack would comply for a few nights, then fall back into his old habits. Even their sex life was out of sync, and they never seemed to have enough time together. Kate always had Sundays off, and it was the one day she truly cherished. She'd work from 7 pm to 7:30 am, then stop at early Mass on her way home. While she slept, Jack would take Elizabeth out with him. Later in the day, they'd spend precious hours together as a family. Once Elizabeth was tucked in, the two of them spent time together.

Kate started wondering if it was all worth it. She'd met her career goals and had slowed down to enjoy her family. She wanted another baby, but not unless Jack slowed down a bit…and he showed no signs of that. The beach house had always been their salvation, so she planned a two week getaway for them. Jack's vacation request was approved, then the trial he was working on dragged on longer than expected. His vacation was cancelled. Kate was furious with him. She took Elizabeth and spent two weeks at the beach anyway. Kate often though that if Jack had just bothered to come for a weekend, things might have been different, but he hadn't. The trial came first. Kate made her decision during that vacation and interviewed for another job. She was hired by the Connecticut Children's Medical Center in Hartford. She wasn't quite ready to give up on him, but she wanted to see if he would try to balance his career and family.

Ultimately, Jack made the decision easy. When the trial ended, he immediately jumped into preps for the next one. Kate, worn out, told him they were leaving. She packed up some things for herself and Elizabeth and left quietly. All he has to do is say "don't go" and I won't Kate kept thinking, but he never did. So Kate and Elizabeth started a new life without him.

Elizabeth started school and was soon thriving in suburbia. As she got older, she became involved with friends, sports and after school activities. Initially she was excited whenever her dad visited, she soon started preferring time spent with her friends. Elizabeth grew into her teenage years, an excellent student, good athlete and had a sunny disposition. Her teenage rebellions seemed minor compared to other youngsters. Kate dated occasionally, but had no long term relationships. Their life was pleasantly routine until Jack stopped by that fateful day of May 22nd, 1996.

Kate was surprised to find Jack on her porch that morning. He looked terrible, an emergency physician, Kate immediately knew he was hypothermic and started warming him up. She had no idea why he was there, just that he seemed to be in shock…and he smelled like alcohol. When Kate unintentionally aroused him, her pent up sexual energy surged, and she responded to him with an intensity of her own. Afterwards, she watched him sleep and wondered what brought him to her door after so long an absence. She awoke to him dressing and realized that he had no intention of staying. She fought back tears and let him go. She later learned what had happened to Claire from mutual friends and guessed correctly that she was more than just Jack's assistant.

Kate felt moody and out of sorts for weeks after Jack's visit. She was tired all the time and her appetite was poor. When Elizabeth commented on it, she decided to get a check up. Her periods had been spotty and irregular, and she thought she might be heading for menopause. When Dr. Wilson made the diagnosis, Kate refused to believe her. Dr. Wilson had to do an ultrasound before Kate registered the truth. Pregnant at 45. With a teenage daughter and an estranged husband. Unable to tell Elizabeth for several weeks, Kate finally told her the truth when Elizabeth voiced her concerns over her mother's health. Elizabeth took the news better than she expected, but disagreed with Kate's decision not to tell Jack. Seeing her mother's distress made her relent and she promised to keep the pregnancy from her father. 

The baby was born two weeks early on January 28th, a bitter cold night with howling winds. Kate's close friend and medical school classmate Eileen coached her through the birth. It seemed much harder at 45 than at 28. Finally at 4:40 am, she was able to push the baby out. It was a 6 lb. 10oz. boy with a shock of black hair who protested his arrival loudly. Elizabeth held him just moments after his birth and helped choose his name. Matthew meaning gift of God and John for his absent father. Kate cried when she nursed Matthew John for the first time.

The baby grew and thrived with attention from his mother and big sister. He was an active, alert baby and didn't sleep as much as Kate wanted. He cried mainly when he was hungry and nursed vigorously. Kate thought wryly that Matthew was a boob man just like his father. Despite living with two women, he was all boy, active and rugged. No quiet activities for him, he preferred to race his toy cars and trucks or play outdoors with the other boys in the neighborhood. At four, Kate signed him up for pee wee soccer and T ball to help channel his endless energy. Elizabeth headed for college when he was two, but he adored his "Beff." Yale was only an hour away, and Elizabeth would come home to visit and do laundry every few weeks. She kept her promise and did not tell Jack about her little brother. 


	3. Their story

Their Story

September 11th, 2001 signaled changes for many people. Jack was arguing a forgettable motion in Judge Pongracic's chambers when the courts building shook with the first explosion at the World Trade Center just six blocks away. The next few days were chaotic all over New York including the DA's office. As a senior executive, Jack remained in the building for the next several days. Water, telephone, electric and gas services were all disrupted. Most were restored within a day, but there were sporadic interruptions. He was still in the office when the lobby security guard radioed to tell him that he needed to sign in a visitor. Somewhat irritated at the interruption, Jack rode the elevator downstairs. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Kate. He seen her twice her since that day in 1996. He'd gone to Elizabeth's high school graduation and Dr. Shipman's funeral. As they rode back upstairs, Kate told him she had been quickly brought into the city to help with the expected casualties. It turned out there were few survivors, and her skills in emergency medicine weren't needed. She's been worried when she hadn't been able to reach him.

Kate told him that she needed to talk to him now, privately and away from the office. By her look and tone, Jack knew it was important. He went into Nora's office and told her he was heading home for a while. They managed to get to the brownstone via subway, then walking several blocks. Kate's eyes widened when she saw the clutter and piles of books, but she didn't say anything. Jack heated water for tea and they settled into opposite ends of the sofa. Kate regarded Jack silently for a few moments, unsure of how to begin. Jack kept quiet politely until she began by asking him if he remembered the day Claire died. His rare blush answered her question. "You had your secrets and I had mine." She told him. She slowly drew a picture out of her bag and handed it to him. Jack stared at the picture of a little dark haired boy with an impish grin. "We made him on May 22nd, 1996," Kate told Jack, "and he was born the following January 28th. Elizabeth was angry that I didn't let you chose whether to be involved or not." "I'm a little late, but I'm giving you a choice now." Jack had to swallow hard several times before he was able to talk, but Kate stopped him and told him she didn't want an immediate answer. She was heading back to Connecticut and would spend the last few weeks of September at the beach house. As she left, Kate set a photo album on the table.

It took Jack quite a while to compose himself. He finally picked up the album and started studying the pictures of his wife, daughter and son. His son. He was 53 years old, had lived in the same apartment for 31 years, had managed to estrange his wife and daughter, and had never met the little boy who was apparently his son. He'd earned his dream job. He was the Executive Assistant District Attorney heading the Trials Bureau, but at night he still came home to the same cluttered apartment, the same empty life.

Jack sat up the entire night deciding on a course of action. Used to making snap decisions and living with the consequences, Jack knew this was too important to make a rush decision. His plan decided, Jack went into the office. His first stop was with Nora. Jack asked for some time off. He told her he had some personal business that needed attention, and he hadn't had a vacation in a long time. He got his time off. Jack went home and packed a few things into his duffle, adding the album. Then he roared off on the silver and black Buell Firebolt motorcycle, that he had bought the past spring. He headed to New Haven to see his daughter, a student at Yale. Elizabeth was surprised to see him outside her dorm when she got out of class. He took her to lunch, and then they settled on a park bench to talk. Jack apologized to her for his indifferent parenting and told her he loved her. Elizabeth didn't say much. Tears in her eyes, she told him that she was angry with him for his choices, but that she loved him anyway. He told her his decision and asked her opinion. Elizabeth agreed that his plan sounded good, but it was Kate's decision. He left after hugging Elizabeth tightly. She promised she'd come to the beach house on the weekend.

When Jack got to the beach house, he didn't see Kate at first. Walking around to the front, he finally saw her in the distance. She was in a beach chair, paperback in hand, keeping an eye on her little boy as he played in the shallow estuary that fed into the quiet ocean cove. Jack dropped his gear on the porch and walked down to meet them. He sat in the sand beside her and watched the little boy play. When Matt came up to them, he said excitedly, "I know you. You are my daddy. Mommy showed me pictures." Jack told him that he was right and held his hand as they walked up to the house. After dinner, Kate put a protesting Matt into the bathtub, "I'll just get dirty again!" She washed his hair and then asked Jack to keep an eye on him while she straightened up the kitchen and washed dishes. Jack watched him splash and play with his toys until his mother lifted him out and wrapped him in a big towel. Pajamas donned and hair and teeth brushed, he settled between them for bedtime stories. Jack leaned over and smelled his hair. Kate looked at him funny, but finished the book. Then tucking her sleepy son into his bed, Kate looked at Jack to begin.

Jack began with an apology. He told her that he still loved her deeply and wanted to be a part of their lives. Then he told her the plan he hoped she would like. If she could accept him and let him be a part of their lives again, Jack would take a three month leave of absence from his job to spend time getting to know her again and helping with Matt. Jack told her that he was eligible to retire at 55, less than two years from now. He told her that after the leave of absence, he would work until his retirement date. He said he knew that she didn't want to come back to the city, but he promised to spend weekends with them in Connecticut. If Nora wouldn't approve the leave, then he would resign. This time Kate was speechless. She wasn't quite sure she trusted him to keep his word, but he looked sincere. Kate told him she'd think about it. She gave him a blanket and pillow for the sofa and went to bed herself. Matt was the only sound sleeper in the house that night.

When Matt woke up at the crack of dawn as little ones tend to do, Jack fixed him breakfast and then took him outside to play on the beach. He knew that Kate was not a morning person and some extra sleep might help his cause. Kate woke long enough to remind Jack to sunscreen Matt and then went back to sleep. Later, they sat on the porch sipping iced tea and watching their boy feed his sandwich crusts to seagulls. Kate looked at Jack and said, "No half way here. You are either in or you are out." Jack gave her the impish grin that she loved and said, "I'm in!" 

After they tucked Matt in that night, Kate and Jack went to bed together. Their love making was slow and sweet, and they both slept more soundly than they had in weeks. They were awakened by a warm little body jumping on them and pulled him between them to snuggle. When Jack sniffed Matt's hair again, Kate looked at him with a question in her eyes. Smiling, he said that was one thing he missed when she left with Elizabeth…and with a devilish grin added, "You were the other."


	4. A family at last

Epilogue

Jack kept his promise. He took a leave of absence and didn't return to work until the new year 2002. They enjoyed the last few weeks of September at the beach house in Connecticut away from the turmoil of New York and the aftermath of the terrorist attacks. Elizabeth drove in for the weekend as promised, and for the first time the four of them were together as a family. Matt had begged for a ride on his father's motorcycle, so Elizabeth dusted off a helmet Jack had bought for her years ago and tried to give it to her little brother. Matt had a pained look on his face and then said, "No way, Beth. I can't wear that. It's got Barbie on it." The small helmet was plastered with stickers including Barbie. Elizabeth choked back a laugh when she saw his serious little face, but she took him to his room and helped him find more "manly" stickers including dinosaurs and cars to redecorate the helmet. Matt got his ride. The little boy loved watching motocross races and free style competitions. He was only allowed an hour of TV a day and would "bank" his TV time to watch any televised motocross events. He built a miniature motocross track in the back yard where he raced his toy motorcycles regularly. Matt was excited that his daddy loved motorcycles too.

Kate returned to her job at the medical center leaving Jack caring for Matt and the house. Elizabeth, who had seen his apartment a few times, thought it was hilarious that Kate trusted him with this job. She rented the movie Mr. Mom, and watched it with him. Jack fears that his father's legacy would haunt him did not materialize. Matt was energetic and cheerful, and managed to get into quite a bit of mischief. Jack did his best to set limits and channel his energy constructively. He went to preschool three days a week and played soccer. Jack took him to swimming lessons and to play in the park. Matt hated sitting still so time outs in his room were extremely effective. Jack still needed lists to help him get through the chores, but he sat down every day with Kate and the two of them discussed what needed to be done. He actually found himself enjoying the chance to decompress, though he did miss the courtroom. Evenings that Kate worked, Jack spent time reviewing law journals and recent rulings. He looked and felt healthier than he had in years. Kate, too, blossomed. For the first time since shortly after Elizabeth's birth, she had a full partner. Having Jack around relieved her of both physical and mental tasks. She had more time for herself and her family.

When Jack returned to work, it was harder than he thought. For most of his life he lived for his job. Now he found himself missing his family. Nora left the office that January replaced by newly elected DA Arthur Branch. Jack bluntly told Arthur that he'd get the job done, but that he planned to spend time with his family too. On Matt's 5th birthday, Jack had a special surprise for the little guy. He had traded in his Buell Firebolt and got two dirt bikes in its place. He would ride a KTM 450EXE and Matt got a Husqvarna (Husky) CR50J. Both got new helmets and full safety gear. Kate had been less than enthusiastic with his choice of gifts. Emergency physicians see too many motorcycle traumas and generally hate motorcycles. Jack pointed out that kids are injured daily on bikes, skateboards, roller blades and just doing stupid kid stuff. He and Matt would be riding on closed courses in full protective gear. She relented. Matt loved his present. Freezing cold or not, he rode his little machine around the yard until it was too dark. When spring came, They spent part of each weekend at a nearby motocross track. Matt began entering the pee wee competitions. Kate decided that if you couldn't beat them, then join them. She started riding a borrowed Honda CR100, then Jack surprised her with a KTM 125 of her own. With a sly grin he told her that he thought she might discover that the cycle vibrated in all the right places! It did. Before long, Elizabeth and her steady boyfriend Andrew were borrowing the KTMs for rides as well. 

2002 passed quickly with Jack taking the train home weekends. Kate would bring Matt to the city for an occasional weeknight as well. Matt started kindergarten that September, and their schedule was less flexible after that. As a senior physician on the hospital staff, Kate was able to switch to a day position once Matt was in school. Jack began renovating the brownstone in preparation for its sale when he retired. In January 2003, Jack quietly filled out the required paperwork for retirement on June 15th. He broke the news to Serena first so she could start investigating her next career step, then he told Arthur. He wanted to leave with as little fanfare as necessary so he asked them to keep his plans as private as possible. Kate was somewhat concerned that Jack would find complete retirement boring after a few weeks, so she encouraged him to check the possibility of a part time position at a Law School. Kate thought he was a wonderful teacher, and future lawyers might benefit from his years in the courtroom. In April Jack was offered a part time position working with students in moot court at Yale University in nearby New Haven. He would start the following September, and he'd still get to be involved with court, albiet as an advisor. Elizabeth had been accepted to Yale University Medical School, and he would be able to lunch with her occasionally. Jack contacted a realtor and listed the brownstone for sale. Seven weeks until June 15th.


	5. Retirement

                                                            Chapter 5

Jack retired as planned on June 13th.  Friday the 13th --which he hoped that wasn't a bad omen.  He adamantly refused any type of farewell party, preferring to slip out quietly. Despite this, word of his retirement spread and his last day was a blur of co-workers and friends—lawyers, cops, judges, administrators, secretaries, paralegals--all coming in to wish him good luck. They ended up adjourning to a nearby pub that catered to the legal set, and he ended up getting home far later than he had planned. It felt good when he woke up the next morning with no work responsibilities for the first time in his adult life.  He still had a huge list of things to accomplish, but legal work wasn't among them.  His first order of business was a long summer vacation accompanied by wife and son.  Matt's final day of school coincided with his retirement.  Kate managed to get an extended vacation by hiring an agency physician to cover her shifts.  Elizabeth was home from college and would house sit for them.

Jack's primary job over the next few days was preparing for the summer long trip out west.  They planned to visit state and national parks/monuments in the Dakotas, Montana and Wyoming.  They would stop in Chicago along the way and visit Jack's sisters that still lived in the Windy City area.  

He busied himself loading the Jayco travel trailer and familiarizing himself with its bells and whistles.  It had been a long time since he'd driven with a tow, so he practiced maneuvers in the local high school parking lot until he satisfied himself that he could squeak into fairly tight spaces.  Kate worked her final weekend, covering the ER from 7 a.m. Friday until 7 a.m. Monday—Jack wondered how physicians were alert enough to work 72 straight hours.  Kate was an attending physician though, and she was able to nap when the ER wasn't busy and let the junior interns and residents handle the more routine cases.  Still, after a shower, clean clothes and breakfast, she was content to curl up on the front seat and leave the driving to Jack..  Matt was strapped into the backseat and kept occupied by his toy cars and gameboy—at least for a while.  The plan was to drive straight thru to Chicago with just a short stop to let Jack nap a few hours and a few to stretch their legs and run some energy off their son.  They did just that.  Kate napped until their first gas stop, then she took a turn driving while Jack played in the back seat with Matt.  Cooping up an energetic small boy for 800 miles was an ambitious plan, but with their planned breaks to stretch, gas up and snack, they survived the long haul to Chicago. Pulling in behind the rush hour traffic, Jack squeezed the trailer back into his sister's driveway in the Mayfair Park neighborhood on Chicago's North side. 

 Jack's little sister Kerry was a high school teacher who lived on Kenton Avenue in a rambling house facing Mayfair Park.  Her husband, Brian Sullivan, was a cop at the Riverside Police station. Much to Matt's delight, she had an above ground pool in her back yard.  Kerry's three sons were 19, 21 and 23 years old.  Aidan, the oldest boy, was already at work in a downtown bank, but still lived at home.  The youngest two boys Brendan and Colin were home from college and promptly took Matt out to swim.  His grateful parents had coffee and caught up on family events that Jack had barely paid attention to for the last 30 or so years.  Kerry had invited their sister Shannon and her family over, so they would have a big cook out that evening.  Shannon lived in nearby Glenview.  She was a registered nurse, divorced with four kids aged 15-23.  Her oldest daughter was married and living in California, but her two younger daughters and their brother would be coming.  Both sisters adored Jack.  He was the oldest and had always tried to protect them from their father's brutal temper and heavy hand.  He had gone to the University of Chicago for his undergraduate degree so he could watch over them until they were old enough to take care of themselves.  Both had fled into early marriages, one happily, the other not so.  Both sisters were settled and content with their lives, delighted that their brother had finally found happiness too.  

            They spent a few days enjoying the city.  Kate and Kerry hit the Art Institute, While Jack, Matt and assorted male cousins took in a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.  Kate, Jack and Matt all trekked through the Planetarium, Shedd Aquarium, Field Museum and Museum of Science and Industry.  Jack wanted to visit the Chicago Historical Society, but Matt protested strongly against another museum, so Kate took him to nearby Lincoln Park Zoo, while Jack strolled through one of his favorite old haunts by himself.  He loved the exhibits on the Chicago fire.  Mrs. O'Leary's cow indeed!  "How come her barn survived the fire if her cow started it?" a youthful Jack had gotten a cuff on the head when he asked that question on a school field trip.  Not all Chicago memories were bad ones, Jack decided.  After meeting up with Kate and Matt, Jack drove them to the cemetery where his parents and two siblings were buried.  When Jack was ten, he had lost a baby brother to Rheumatic fever.  Another sister had been stillborn after his mother fell late in her pregnancy.  Jack always believed his father had caused the fall.  Seeing the graves for the first time since his mother's death caused both anger and sadness to well up.  Matt was surprised by his father's tears, but Jack knelt beside him and explained simply that his father hadn't always been a good husband or father.  He also promised the little boy that he would try to be a better father himself.  He also told Matt that Matt should then try to be a better dad than Jack.  That way, other children in our family will have a happy life.  Kate got a bit teary too.  Kerry had filled her in on some of the events of Jack's childhood that he omitted: Bruises and broken bones that fellow cops, neighbors and teachers routinely ignored in the fifties as private business.  Kerry suspected that the nuns of St. Ignatius believed Jack deserved whatever he got and never reported the abuse.  

            They wrapped up the Chicago leg of the journey with a family picnic at Chicago's North beach on Saturday.  All the family was able to attend so it was a great time.  Jack had worked his summer vacations as a lifeguard at that beach from age 14 until he left Chicago.  Nepotism was rampant in city jobs, and his father had gotten him the job.  Old man was good for something.  The beach hadn't changed much, but the suits were skimpier.  Kate playfully smacked him when she caught him checking out the scenery.  "Aren't you supposed to keep your eyes on the water?" she asked him..  He just gave her his most charming Jack grin.   They pulled out at 4 a.m. Sunday morning so they could spend a day in Wisconsin Dells.  The male cousins had suggested that Jack and Matt spend the day at the Big Chief Go-Kart Track. "They have like thirty different tracks, plus a dozen roller coasters," Aidan explained.

            They settled into a shaded campsite at the Dells, and then Jack spent over an hour on the phone with the DA's office answering some questions for Serena and his replacement.  Kate dropped her guys off at Big Chiefs with a cell phone then headed downtown to shop.  She then came home and napped several hours.  When she woke up they still hadn't called for a pick up, so she headed for the pool with a book.  It was just after six when Jack called for their pickup.  Both of them were grimy, sweaty, smelled like exhaust fumes and grinning from ear to ear.  Kate left the windows down in the truck as she drove them home.   She grilled burgers and fixed a salad while they cooled off and cleaned up via the pool.  Matt was dead asleep by 7:30 still in his swim trunks.  Jack carried him to bed and pulled the partition closed.  He sank onto the master bed and was closing his eyes to when Kate straddled him and untied the drawstring to his swim trunks.  Tired, but immediately aroused, Jack opened one eye and sized up his wife.  She just smiled at him and proceeded to make wonderful love to him.  Afterwards, he curled up with his head in her lap snoring softly, exhausted from an all day romp with his son and a shorter evening romp with his wife.


End file.
